April 19

“letter to baby brother”

you are born with a snake climbing into your belly like a hose filling you up with screams
like I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream
and it's melted all over you
vanilla ice cream from you splashing in mommy's bowl
mommy's big round moonbelly
you're as bald as the moon
you're as bald as Earl from church
daddy says he has a head like a ping-pong ball
but you have a head like a squashed peach
and frog legs;
I gave you a kiss, frog prince
but you didn't turn into a person
mommy says you will if I'm patient
I'm trying to be patient.

did you know you used to be a tadpole?
before you were a tadpole you were a dinosaur
and before you were a dinosaur you were stars
and before you were stars you were
nothing
probably.

frog prince, did you hear the songs I sang to you?
you should know your ABCs by now.
and twinkletwinklelittlestar.
frog prince, did you feel the kisses I sent blowing down mommy's bellybutton hole?
I will teach you all about dinosaurs
stegosauruses and tyrannosauruses and rexes
they all turned to bones when a star fell on them
and I will teach you all about stars,
how they're not fireflies or God like I used to think
but grandma says God is up there
and even though I've looked for a long time I've never seen him
although I'm pretty sure if God's up there then so is Jesus and Santa and the Easter Bunny.

firetruck mouth you siren so loud it wakes up all the people.
stop screaming so big
don’t you know it is hard to scream and sleep at the same time
and the three things you need to grow are water, sunlight, and dreams

so goodnight baby brother
goodnight frog prince
goodnight moonhead
I will play with you when you turn into a person.